When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
'What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go
to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the
second one didn't.'
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can
have mine.'
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
